I’m a bit awkward in social situations, but I definitely think I would be 10x better if there were certain things that were socially acceptable. I mean, it’s 2016! I see no reason why a grown adult (a.k.a me) can’t play in the ball pit and order off the kids menu..
- Wear your PJ’s to the shop across the road. The thing that annoys me about this one is that 12 years can walk around town in friggin’ Tigger onesies but the second an adult pops to the shop in her Minnie Mouse PJ’s she’s ‘lazy and irresponsible’ – like, what? WHY?
- Stalk everyone you know on Facebook. Getting tired of the weird looks I get when I ask a mere acquaintance how her Aunt is doing after her hip replacement in 2007.
- Wear the same outfit twice in a row. It’s been washed! Plus, it’s looks super cute so I’m just gonna go ahead and wear it to the death, okay?
- Not shaving my legs often enough. I would like to say it’s because I refuse to adhere to today social standards and I’m a free woman who does what she wants … but I’m just lazy. Honestly though, who has the time (and the energy) to stand in the shower for what seems like a lifetime to try and reach the unreachable behind-the-knee area whilst trying carefully not to make it look you’ve been dragged though a bramble bush? Not me. Free the jungle that is my hairy legs!
- Having breakfast, for dinner. Why can’t you order Coco-pops for dinner at a restaurant? Why isn’t this a thing?
- Dislodging a wedgie in public. We should not be forced by social standards to withstand the discomfort that is the ever famous wedgie. Just get it out and get on with your life!
- Going out for a meal or to the cinema alone. However, there is a plus side to this. If you go into a restaurant on your own (and act especially stuck up), they think you are a mystery diner and treat you like royalty – it’s fabulous. Okay, maybe this one isn’t so bad.
Don’t live for the man, live for yourself. Pick that wedgie with pride.